I'm feeling kind of down today...hence my late post. I haven't really felt like blogging about how much I feel like a failure at this whole weight loss thing. I feel like I have so much weight to lose that it will NEVER happen. Since I'm being completely honest on this blog, I have steadily been gaining weight over the last 8 years since my kids were born, but in the last year I have gained...30.4 lbs!!! It's not like I have changed much. I have always eaten terrible, but I guess my age is catching up with me. It could have something to do with my hysterectomy this year, I know my hormones have been crazy every since but I'm not sure. Bottom line is that it doesn't matter how it happened, what matters is that I'm beyond unhealthy and unless I change something quick, I'm not going to live a long life. Why is this so difficult? For all the already skinny people who would say, "just stop eating unhealthy things" I say it's SO much more than that. If I could change my mind and the way I handle stress, it would be much easier to stop eating the things that are not good for me.
So why then sudden despair? It's simple. For the first time in months, I looked at my reflection in the mirror last night. Don't get me wrong I have looked in the mirror, but it was always a quick look...usually trying only to look at my face, and I was always sucking in. I have mastered the skill of sucking in over the years, so much so that I always do it...even when 'm alone :-/ However I'm not going to let the Devil win. I'm not going to give up. It might take me years, but I will eventually get to my goal weight. I have decided to hold myself more accountable I'm going to post my weight loss once a week...no not my actually weight, just how much I've lost. So far it's nothing so I will post again next Weds. That's all for now, just a short post today. Thanks to everyone who is and has been supporting me on this journey, may God bless you all.
Isaiah 40:29He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Summer you are beautiful! And you CAN do anything that you set your mind to. You and Lisa have similar problems until you get that crazy voice in your head turned off anything positive will get drowned out.
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ReplyDeleteSummer, you can do it. Know that you are not alone. Not only do I have problems with this, but a lot of girls I work with also. They are always complaining about the way they look and how much they weigh. I don't think there are a lot of females out there who like EVERYTHING about themselves. We all have something to give.You are beautiful, and you are strong, and you can do this. I believe in you!
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